It's Not All Good in the "Ould"- Words I've Eliminated to Accelerate Goal Completion

“Would,”” could”, and “should” deteriorate my energy. As I reflect on the times in my life when I’ve used these words, I fill with regret. When other people used these words towards me, I noticed my energy levels dropped and I’d feel insignificant.

Before, after a night of poker, I would regularly say, “What could I have done better? Should I have raised my opponent? Would the outcome have been different?” The shoulda ,woulda, couldas brought me doubt, guilt, and shame, and I’d fall down a slippery slope. “Why am I even playing? What am I doing here? Am I stupid?” Constantly berating myself killed my motivation to improve.

I would feel down in the dumps reviewing previous arguments and mistakes. I would ask people what I could have done better, and I’d end up feeling bad about myself. I had already pre-planned for the worst possible outcome.

What’s worse was when people gave me unsolicited advice and criticism. “You could have done it this way. You should buy that product instead. Why would you even bother forgiving them?” It didn’t feel like sincere help. Instead, I thought the person was trying to control me, take away my power, and flat out belittle me.

I would become fearful. I’d worry about fouling up again. I’d place insane amounts of pressure on myself before anything even happened!

My campaign for replacing the ‘oulds started off on the wrong foot. I went the route of saying “need” and must instead. “I must try this next time. I need to eat healthier. Using these two words produced a similar route.

Saying I need to eat healthier, didn’t get the job done. It pulled me back, and I lost interest. While need and must may feel like speed demon words to climb higher faster, all they did was push me farther down. “Need” came off more like desperation. I felt like I was losing something.

“Must” felt like I was drowning and suffering. Gagging for air. Anxiety stormed in.

Why would I want to struggle down a forced path? I am already sensing I am lacking that is causing me concerns. With over approximately 170,000 words in the English language, I was determined to find one as a guide.

I decided to try the word “will”. I said I will eat healthier. “Will” simultaneously brought me power and peace. If I could visualize the completed task, I could start to feel excited and motivated to achieve that task. Will made me calm. There is no rush to complete my task- I know it will happen.

I can proudly say I’ve been eating much healthier for over a year! I still have my vices- I’ll still enjoy a few gummy candies, alcohol, and fast food occasionally. If I feel like I’m overindulging, instead of saying “I need to stop eating so much candy,” I go back to “I will start to think more about my food choices again.”

Just as I don’t use the ‘oulds on myself anymore, I don’t tell anyone else what they should, could, or would do. I may provide suggestions, and present them as an option; not as a must or need. My methods may not suit everyone, and I’m hopeful it is a more nurturing way to give criticism.

Using “will” has been a great gift to keep me in the positivity zone! I use it to attract what I intend. I never say, “I will always have bad luck.” If I did so, I am already assisting my future to go down a path I do not wish to create.

Nowadays when people give me the ‘oulds, I give them the Wayne Dyer “you’re right about that” phrase or “If you feel your way is better, go right ahead and do so. Nobody is stopping you.” I had to use this on family members a couple of times, and eventually, they stopped giving me their unsolicited advice.

Breaking these would, should, and could paradigms is a challenge. Practice makes perfect, and I can say “I will” has greatly taken over the old ‘oulds. I catch myself when I use my old words of guilt, and replace them immediately with will, and I will continue to get better.

Royal Resources

Book- Change Your Paradigm Change Your Life- Bob Proctor

Book- I Can See Clearly Now- Wayne Dyer