Combating for Control- The War Against My Comfort Zone.

“Enough expansion! Just so you know, if you do this, I will end you permanently. You cannot win. If you don’t stop, you will forget all you have remembered for eternity. This is your last chance to stay with me or become miserable.”

Is he right? Would I start losing my memories of what I had previously known? Was he correct that I didn’t need to expand my mind anymore? Something in me wanting to finally break through.

I had enough of not being in control of my life. It had been the same patterns for too long. I had been completely blind by how I was living up until now. This time, I was prepared to take on my comfort zone and his allies to break free.

Let’s go back to see how this battle came to be. What started out as like a small virus nearly infected my whole being for life.

Growing up I played sports. In baseball I was consistently on winning teams earning first place and making the all-star team. Baseball was easy for me until I was caught off guard with a change to the game. Starting in 3rd grade players instead of coaches would become pitchers. I felt nervous. I was use to how things were, and this would be a huge shift out of my comfort zone.

As my parents were preparing to register me for next season, my comfort zone started plotting behind my back: “I don’t like what Michael is doing to me. He needs to stay in place, but it’ll take more than just me to keep him here” my comfort zone said. “Ah! Here we go! Cognitive distortion thinking! That’ll keep Mikey in place! Cognitive distortion thinking would keep my thoughts negative and often inaccurate without me even knowing it.

Cognitive distortion thinking fed me thoughts like, “Hey Michael, listen to me. You could get beaned by these kids daily and go blind. You’ve already won first place! Walk out on top.” My comfort zone added, “You have nothing more to prove,” which was reminiscent from Michael Jordan’s early 90’s NBA retirement. It made perfect sense. I had already won first place; I had already made the all-star team. What more did I need?

Comfort zone 1; Mikey 0

A similar battle with soccer ensured in fifth grade. I didn’t take 1st place in soccer until a later point in my life, so my big highlight was the final game of our 5th grade season. Our team was down 3 of our best players for our final game. If we won, we’d take 2nd place. If we tied, we’d get 3rd place. If we lost, we’d get nothing. We were huge underdogs, yet I wasn’t nervous. I was confident in my ability to help our team win.

We fell behind 1-0 early and I couldn’t get pass their defense all game… until the final 5 minutes. I broke through and made the most of my opportunity to score. I felt accomplished in my soccer superstardom to tie up the game for 3rd place. Next season would be putting comfort zone to the test. I noticed next year would be 6th,7th, and 8th graders. I would be at a two-year disadvantage.

My comfort zone didn’t want me to excel. He thought to himself plotting, “Well he certainly won’t be afraid of playing soccer like baseball getting injured by older players. Let’s see. Aha! I will put destroy on his confidence! Once I poison his self-confidence, that poison will spread into smaller enemies such as fear of failure and anxiety. That way he won’t leave his comfort zone to become better and will remain neutral. Just the way I like it.” He snarled and went to work.

My poisoned self-confidence got the best of me. “You will have no chance to play as well vs 8th graders. Walk out with your big memory winning your team 3rd place and play next season. There is no reason to look embarrassed and fail.” I ended up listening and not playing in 6th grade.

Comfort zone2; Mikey 0.

As I made my way through my teens and into young adulthood, my comfort comfort zone gave me an illusion I was in control of my life. I wasn’t.

When I started a new job, I would have to learn new skills. My comfort zone “allowed” me to briefly step out to grasp their tasks, understanding that working paid for and sustained our lives. If I didn’t exist, he wouldn’t either. “In survival mode, Mikey can’t focus on growth,” my comfort zone said. “He can only focus on doing the bare minimum to get by.”

Overtime, and without me knowing it, my comfort zone chipped away at my desire to heard into the unknown, and he enlisted the help of another ally, procrastination! Procrastination knocked me down anytime I had an urge to try something new. Procrastination came equipped with a lion’s roar shouting, “This will take too long! Why start when you know you aren’t going to finish. Or if you really want to give it a go, start tomorrow.” Procrastination prevented me from trying anything new.

“Ah this is the life,” my comfort zone declared. “No worries. We can stay in one place, and now- I can predict every movement Michael makes. Easy street for eternity!” My comfort zone had kicked back and was enjoying his power.

By 2016, my comfort zone had turned me into a puppet. Nothing ever changed. My life became so monotonous, it was hard to know if I was actually living my life or just watching it pass by.

I worked at the same stores, had the same boring workout routine, hung out with the same friends playing the same games and eating the same food. Finally, I reached my breaking point, and a new character appeared to me: Will Power.

“How bad do you want something Mike?” Will Power asked. “Once you tap into your Will Power, you will being to decimate the control your comfort zone has on you!”

I used my Will Power to overcome playing fantasy football and sports betting pools. I had long ago stopped enjoying participating in leagues and the banter between friends and family during our games. I’ve won first place multiple times along with winning survivor and confidence pools. It became boring and unrewarding. I didn’t stop playing because I was on auto-pilot, my prescription for my way of life courtesy of my comfort zone. My CZ was caught off guard when I wanted to stop playing. My comfort zone fought back, feeding me loads of negative thoughts. “If you stop, what will you do with your Sundays? Your friends are counting on you! You’ve been the commissioner of your friends and family league for over 10 years!” My comfort zone was no match for my Will Power.

Comfort zone: 1000; Mikey 1

Four years later, with Will Power still going strong at my side, I was winning more battles against my comfort zone. Among them was trying new cuisines and exercise programs. One thing still had my stuck.

I was actively searching for condos/townhomes, but never went to see any. Cognitive distortion and self-confidence were getting the best of me: - “There is no way you can afford this on your own.” they said. “You don’t have enough money saved up. What will happen to your dog Alba?”

That’s when Will power called in backup: Excitement.

“Hi!” Excitement said. “I can help! I boost feelings and make you feel strong!

I wrote down my want list for a home: a clean environment, smoke free, indoor washer/dryer, hardwood floors, a pool, and a bath-tub. After 6 months, I found a match!

Excitement overtook my body as I called my realtor for a showing. My comfort zone couldn’t compete with excitement’s repellant! She protected me all the way!

Once I was in a place of my own, I couldn’t be stopped. My comfort zone was fumed: “What the devil is going on! Where is this coming from? Where is he getting these allies? I have had it! I am taking action now!”

A few days before I closed on my condo, my comfort zone buzzed in my brain: “If you do this, your end result will be unhappy.” Unlike previous threats, I ignored him. I felt invincible with Will Power and Excitement! I wasn’t missing anything else right?

Then, a sneak attack. Will Power and Excitement disappeared? Kidnapped. My comfort zone kicked me back into old habits. Procrastination veered his ugly head. I had finished painting the condo and was ready to officially move in, leaving my parents’ house for good. But then, I just couldn’t. Maybe tomorrow. What’s one more night in these familiar walls? I felt my confidence plummet. Cognitive distortion rammed his fist into my brain- would Alba okay with not sleeping in the same house every night? Will I be okay to sleep somewhere else? Will my parents be okay with out me? Will I miss out on other opportunities?

My comfort zone urged me to sell the condo, cut my losses, and stay home. “It’s safe back at your parents. We can pretend this never happened.” he said. I was about to surrender.

Then deep in my mind I met Positive Endgame. “Channel Will Power and Excitement. Keep your thoughts focused on a positive spin for the end result. It doesn’t matter what your senses tell you, it’s what you feel and know will be the end game. It’s your choice with how everything plays out. It always has been, and always will be that way.” I went back and started staying at my condo permanently.

When I unlocked my new ally, Positive Endgame, I confronted my comfort zone. I wanted to end our war and call a truce.

Negotiating with my one-dimensional comfort zone was a challenge I had to overcome. I explained the fear of losing my memories was an illusion, and that with each departure as I learn and experience new concepts, my comfort zone would become more powerful.

We are now on the same team!

His former allies of procrastination, lack of self-confidence, and cognitive distortion all try to sneak in the back door from time to time. They have no chance of survival.

I can come and go as I please and bring my CZ the gift of expansion. We coexist, and now instead of a small studio apartment, my comfort zone and I inhabit a mansion with space to grow and breathe in my mind.